Twit or Tweeter?

twitted

Twit or Tweeter?

By virtue of the fact that I’m even asking this question, you know what I am; twit all the freaking way. I have tried and tried, given up and half-assed tried again to figure out Twitter and am still at a complete loss.

I have sought advice from folks more knowledgeable than I, and still, the sponge that is reportedly my brain refuses to absorb this information.

People who love Twitter tell me:

  1. Twitter is a challenge! You have to be clever and concise as you only get a finite amount of spaces to use.
  2. Make sure more people follow you than you follow.
  3. Retweet people you want to “get in” with.
  4. It helps you keep on top of what’s trending.
  5. If people like what you tweet, they’ll follow your blog.

In response, I say:

  1. I’m a writer. The whole point for me is to be as verbose and descriptive as humanly possible. Limiting my ability to express myself is like cutting off a sprinters feet right before the race.
  2. It’s like junior high all over again. Make sure more people want to be your friend than you’re willing to let in. Whatever. If you like me, I’m gonna like you back, it’s just my way. I know the Twitter gods are crapping their pants at the thought, but dammit I like to think I’m more grown up than that.
  3. First off, it’s hard enough for me to tweet for me without tweeting for you too. (Although if you’re in one of my author groups or I’m working on an anthology with you, I will retweet you, maybe even at the expense of tweeting for myself.)
  4. I am the least cool person I know, seriously. I’m so not “in” or fashionable; why in the world would I care what’s trending?
  5. Oy. Like there’s not enough pressure to be witty.

Because of Twitter pressure, I realized I needed an intern. I needed a younger, cooler, hipper person than I, who fell out of the womb with social media savvy. Enter Lanesha.

My intern tweets for me and retweets people I ask her to. I still go on Twitter and try my best to engage, but here’s what I’ve found. More people want to hang with Lanesha than me. It’s like ya’all sense we’re a split personality and you like the fake me more than the real me. Ouch.

However, if you adore my books and want to engage with the real me, may I offer up my author page on Facebook? That’s always me because apparently Facebook is geared toward the loquacious middle-aged brain.

If you think you have the perfect way to explain Twitter to me, please send me a tweet and tell me. Lanesha will let me know what’s up. And if you follow me on Twitter, I’m probably gonna follow you back, unless your middle name is ISIS or your handle is DoubleBananaHolder. Seriously, that banana person followed me and I almost deleted my account.

Oh, and I’ve recently discovered that people will follow you just so you’ll follow them back and once you do, they unfollow you. OMG, Lanesha is SO on to you and won’t put up with crap, so don’t even try it with us!

On that note, this twit is off to Facebook where the world makes sense.

Whitney on Facebook

Whitney on Twitter

Whitney on Amazon

 

 

 

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