Babette Entry #6

Happy New Year, Dear Friends!

With a new year come new resolutions. As the good-hearted, generous and loving human being that I am, I resolve to accept Babette for the troublemaking, bullying whore that she is.

Jon Bon and his wife knocked us off their Christmas card list this year because of their brief experience with Babette. They wrongly assumed that I endorsed their hiring of her. Alas, twenty-five years of friendship down the drain. So ‘Have a Nice, Day,’ Jon. I’ll just be “Livin’ on a Prayer,’ here with Babs and co. Let us know when we’re forgiven so we can go bowling for brewskis again.

Our gardener, Henry, left us after Babette-Gate, 2015. His wife made him quit if he didn’t want a divorce. Clearly, Henry knew his faux-mance with Babs could never last and Mrs. Henry has been siphoning off money into Switzerland for years. Auvoir, Henre, the chickens miss you! Alas, we are hiring a new gardener if you have any recommendations.

Magda spent the holidays in Hungary this year with her family. We missed her dreadfully and are so happy she’s home to clean the bathrooms. Things were nearing critical mass in the hygiene department.

Alphonse has started putting cars up on blocks in front of our house. The neighbors are complaining. I don’t blame them in the least and have entered into negotiations with Fonzie to desist his white trash ways. Alas, I don’t want to have to fire him as our household is already down one with Henry’s decampment. But if you know of a good driver/errand boy, let me know in case Fonzie won’t listen to reason.

Babette is Babette. She is still complaining that she isn’t French and even went so far as to boycott foods with the words “French” in them to make her point. Wah, wah, wah, more French fries for me.

The super good news is that I will have 2 (!!) more books out for your enjoyment in the spring, as long as Babs stays out of my way.

Wishing you all a raucous, joyous and felicitous New Year!

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